my world in a nutshell.
hey, i'm dan. my biggest passion is learning languages.
  • My mom 0.000052736 seconds after I open the fridge: Don't hold the fridge open so long

(Source: weekend2011film)

foxgrl:

I wish none of you were sad

"You never get over it. But you get to where it doesn’t bother you so much."

The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides

(Source: emilywantshappiness)

Anonymous asked:
You're so cute oh my godvghyydddfloogcggy

awwwh. thank you, lovely. that’s really nice of you to say

cooknut:

follow me, i’m a good reblogger

New favourite joke:

agathaheterodyne:

where-am-i-send-help:

ougbad:

karlimeaghan:

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”

i dont get it

No one explain it

After the Roman drinks the beers, he tells the bartender, “I want a martinus.”

"Don’t you mean a martini?”

"If I wanted two, I would’ve asked for them."

kushdrinker:

how to give a handjob:

1. grab boner mid-shaft

2. pump until confetti is released

3. party

fluent-in-lesbianism:

MY MOM JUST TOLD ME TO CREMATE HER AND PUT HER ASHES IN AN HOUR GLASS SO THAT EVEN AFTER SHE’S DEAD AND GONE SHE CAN CONTINUE TELLING ME HOW MUCH TIME I’M WASTING.

(Source: ellendegeneres)

Reblogged from foraginq, Posted by metrodorus.

(Source: yourlifeaswilly)

Reblogged from foraginq, Posted by reapplied.

(Source: reapplied)

versacefag:

heterosexuality is a sin